China 2/5--2/8 or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Harmonization

Thursday, the 5th
Today, the nation of McDonald's statistically savvy secretary of treasury confirmed the existence of a "financial crisis" chimera. To wound the very real, shadowy beast, Mckey D's announced a unilateral stimulus plan for China, which includes the establishment of 175 new branches, creating more than 10,000 jobs. According to the The New York Times' Bettina Wassener, a Mickey D rep said the move is "in line with the [Chinese] government's direction to stimulate domestic demand" and "help build a stronger economy." The super-sized stimulus package also includes a near 33% price reduction on mainland meals. No news on whether the nation of McDonald's plans a similar bailout for the U.S.

In less earth-shattering news today, some scientists have suggested that maybe last year's Sichuan earthquake (see recent photos here) was man-made, caused by a seismic shift beneath the weighty water of the Zipingpu Dam's Reservoir. (Last year, China spent almost 200 billion USD on natural disaster relief.)

Meanwhile, China's worst drought in half a century suddenly became news today. The AFP noted that "the increased alert level was made official at the same time as the central government sent out specialists to all eight major drought-hit regions..." A CCTV9 report said the government ordered "all-out efforts."

None of the news above, however, was nearly as titillating as the Chinese netizens' satirical mooning of the governments' recent porn crackdown or the Shanghai man in court "for performing a 'sexorcism' on his girlfriend's mother."

Friday, the 6th
Nothing important happened today unless you count the sparks of what will likely be another fiery, polarizing debate of "truthiness" between shaky western journalists and indubious Chinese netizens. The Mutant Palm blogger translated what appears to be, so far, the first response (in Chinese here) to the "Western media's linking of natural and man-made disasters." (Note to the western media: stop making links.)

Saturday, the 7th
More jellylike reporting from the western media today as the AP reported that China's official data obscures the reality of just how deep its sunk because of the financial tsunami.

Chinese media today commented on two instances of corruption--1.) public anger over hefty bailouts and 2.) femme fatale Lu Jiali, rumored ex-mistress of seven Shanghai swine.

Also today, Animals Asia rescued injured moon bears from their bile-bootlegging captors.

Sunday, the 8th
How to combat drought? Call the in the troops, of course. Following Premier Wen Jiabao's order for "all-out efforts" against the drought, Chinese weather officials relieved drought-stricken areas today by dispatching planes from Guangzhou armed with "rainmaking tools including cloud-seeding rockets."

Meanwhile, Reuters published a powder keg of a story today about "John Rabe," a film based on an expatriate Nazi who saved the lives of around 200, 000 Chinese in Nanjing during the Japanese invasion of 1937. "The Rape of Nanking" is historical flash point for Chinese nationalism because conservative Japanese continue to deny that the holocaust ever happened.